YOUR LETTERS

	This is the page where you can air your views about almost anything. If you have anything to say then email us and maybe it will get published. The olympic flame team reserve the right to correct the letters for publication where necessary. Anonymity is guaranteed where requested. letters@theolympicflame.co.uk
	22/06/01 Dear olympic flamers, I write to you in utter disgust at your portrayal of Birmingham. I, as a moaning brummy ****, not only talk in an annoying nasal tone, but also am prone to whinge incessantly. I therefore have the following to say: I would like you at the olympic flame to know that Birmingham is in fact the a***hole of the country, not just "the country's unofficial anus." It is well known that Birmingham is second rate as it is England's second city. Yours moaningly, John Thomas 24/07/01 As Belgium's diplomatic envoy to the British Isles please accept the best wishes of my fellow countrymen for your forthcoming journey. Your epic website showcases an impossible dream and has fired the imaginations of Benelux in a way only previously achieved by truly global statesmen. Where Nelson Mandela first trod, Gomm, Munro and Robins will follow on their way to the Pantheon of Legend! There is only one man who could possibly add anything to these momentous proceedings: Geoff Capes. Following a successful career as the world's strongest man from Lincolnshire, Geoff is now Europe's most eminent budgerigar breeder. Please find a link to Geoff Capes' website herewith. Geoff is a true Olympian and a hero to the people of Belgium. All Belgians strive to mimic his facial hair because ultimately, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Mr Capes would undoubtedly endorse your mission wholeheartedly and I hope you garner his support for this, the greatest journey Theolympicflame has ever undertaken. http://www.webdoctor.uk.com/capes/ Godspeed, you noble creatures! Michel Wanke, Belgian Consular-General to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 30/07/01 I believe that the Olympic Flame should be aware that the mysterious Captain James (Little Jimmy) Munro is currently wanted in several EU countries and doubtless many Non EU countries for offences against the guitar of such an unspeakable nature that they cannot be mentioned on a family website. I would suggest the organisers must seriously call into question Mr Munro's suitability for the expedition. His other heinous offences include supporting Liverpool whilst proclaiming himself a Coventry supporter and holding the world record for chatting up a girl without any favourable response (79 hours). May I suggest the Captain be relieved of his duties forthwith and lets a proper Capri driver take the helm. The deception must come to an end and Munro be exposed. Jonah Lomu 31/07/01 Well the time is almost upon us where you depart this fair island for warmer climes. New friends, new food and new experiences await you...but take care, for it is also a cruel world full of surprises around every corner. Remember - JUST SAY NO! Good luck in your travels and don't take sweets from strangers, Juan Momento 31/07/01 Good luck, boys! See you in hell.... Steff Evans 04/08/01 I write in response to Jonah Lomu's accusation that Captain James Munro once took 79 hours to chat up a girl without any favourable response. I believe I may perhaps be the girl in question...or if not, I have certainly found myself at the receiving end of Captain Munro's wit and charm.....although it was more realistically 67 hours, and the response was semi-favourable, honest! Can't say too much, there are all sorts of court cases pending with regards to lack of beauty sleep, slander (in relation to 'vermin') etc etc. Anyway, hope the Capri makes it, see you in court Jim! Love Jo x 07/08/01 Chaps Hope all is well with your little outing, you big fags. When three grown men are thrown together under extreme conditions, all hot and sweaty, they often turn to each other for comfort. And sausage. Sure you all know each other well by now. From Coventry Rob and Coventry Neil. 08/08/01 Just a quick mail to say hope you are getting on well with your mission! I finally managed to get onto your website and you will pleased to know it is one of the funniest things I've seen in ages, I was actually laughing out loud!! It is really good, I hope it is going as well as planned!! Claire 09/08/01 Excellent news - I see the authorities haven't caught up with you yet, but I suppose there's plenty of time for that! Any bodies in the boot yet? Steff 10/08/01 Just seen the flame paint job on the site - Forkin 'ell! Burn 'dem highways down! Matt 10/08/01 Nice one fellas, You people are my heroes. I am watching EastEnders while you guys are making history. Save those children - I pledge a pound for every pint of oil you burn. Take every bend sideways, Tom Log. 13/08/01 Amazing, awe inspiring, five star home entertainment! It can only be the olympicflamers in their search for truth, enlightement, high jinks and foreign birds; under the guise of raising money for 'charideey'. A truly epic adventure awaits you brave (r) souls and I will be gripped, big brotherestylee with each gear shift of your concept crapi. Godspeed you to the glorious conclusion of your journey. The thoughts of a thousand inspired schoolboys are with you. Do not let them down! Kevin 13/08/01 On holiday in Italy i saw the car in milan sticking out like a sore thumb in the fashion capital of the world where the roads are populated by just scooters and fiats. But the journey map does not include milan it goes straight from genoa to florence. I wondered if the team is lost. ( Incase you have lost them and are worried, i think i saw them on saturday 11th of august right in the centre of milan, i couldnt tell which way they were heading) Chris 16/08/01 Boys, Always a pleasure to catch up on the intrepid explorers and glad to see that all is going well. The complete failure of the Robbins and Munro to have any success with the female of the wider European countries surprises no - one. The only surprise to date is that some hairy - £$**** foreigner has not given you all a good kicking. Having met with Premier Blair and members of the cabinet this morning to brief them on the journey one request has come from Tony: Could we please limit the amount of stuffed animals that the team kidnaps and sleeps with. It is a little known fact that the UK is the largest exporter of such animals and the soiling of them by British travellers does little to enhance our reputation abroad. Tony is also keen that you boys continue to experiment with all the local sausage available ,as he himself is planning a trip in the autumn (unknown to Cherie) hoping to taste all European sausage available in a space of 3 weeks (it is widely believed that the success or not of this will decide if the UK enters into the Euro). James - David Blunketts Guide Dog says "hi". Continue the good work of degrading our fair country abroad, any places you miss,. let us know and we'll send the boys in... Laters, Neil 17/08/01 Good to know all going well! Particularly liked the photo next to the Ferrari on the harbour wall! Speaking of which, didn't Vauxhall make a car called a Firenza? A kind of Viva coupe - wasn't it? Bonne chance with the rest - Keep on keepin on! jm morris   19/08/01 Harro flom Japan!! You boys really are doing a great job of "saving the world with humour"! I'm doing my bit over here by drilling as many poor young Asian immigrant hookers as my salary will allow,whilst teaching them a few knock knock jokes!. Here's to the "trickle down" theory Tommy Nakajima's caddy's love child