A TALE OF TWO CITIES

	ATHENS Mainland Greece is surrounded by some 1400 islands. Athens is one of the world's most rich cities as far as culture and history is concerned. Athens is a curious blend of east and west, and first and third worlds; its raucous street vendors and colorful markets make it easy to see why Athens was the 'Paris of the Mediterranean'. The Acropolis, a province for the gods, is Athens' shining monument and can be seen anywhere in the city. History, history, history. When we talk about the history of Athens, we have to go back some 2000 years when Athens was one of the several small independent city-states. Sometime around 621 BC, a legistrator named Draco appeared on the Athenian scene and codified laws that substituted public justice for personal revenge, and thus outlawed the feuds that were a popular Greek pastime. His laws were so severe that the legistrator has been immortalized by the word "draconian". The laws were said to be written in blood rather than ink, because he rewarded many types of crimes with the death penalty. These laws held for only a quarter of a century until Solon, who came to be called the founder of Athenian democracy, abolished the death penalty for everything but murder. Solon also instituted constitutional reforms that set up free election and brought all classes, except slaves, into the process of government. And so democracy began. A hundred years later democracy and everything else Greece had built up were threatened by Persia. The first of Persia's expeditions took place in 490 BC when its army arrived at Marathon, near Athens. This was the event where a Greek soldier ran the 27 miles back to Athens, managed to gasp "We have won", then collapsed and died. In their second expedition the Persians were matched by the genius of Themistocles, an Athenian leader who made his people nervous by going out and building a huge fleet rather than an army. However, he turned out to be right; the Persians were blasted off the sea at the battle of Salamis, off the coast near Athens. Athens, now a naval power, was headed for its golden age. Its ruler at this time, around the middle of the fifth century BC, was Pericles, the most dazzling orator in a city of dazzling orators. He practiced democracy at home, imperialism abroad. One of his wisest decisions was to pay jurors, so that even the poorest citizens could sit on juries. One of his not-so-smart decisions was to restrict Athenian citizenship to people whose mother and father were both Athenians. It was Pericles who built the Parthenon, the Propylaea, the long walls to Pireaus and many of the temples you'll see on your strolls around the capital. This was quite a time for Athens. While Pericles was building his Parthenon, Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides were writing their plays and Socrates and Plato were teaching. Athens was then involved in the Peloponnesian War with Sparta and 27 years of fighting lead to Athens' defeat in 404 BC. But victorious Sparta's influence lasted only 30 years after; it was then superseded by Macedonia, a kingdom in the north of Greece. Philip of Macedon's ambition was to unify all of Greece, restore Greek culture to Macedon, and eliminate Persia as a lingering threat. Next in line in the throne was his first wife's son, Alexander the Great, who had studied under Aristotle. Alexander's death marked the end of the great classical period of Greece-in literature, philosophy and art. The city-states like Athens withered, the upper classes took over, and there was constant bickering and battling until 146 BC when Greece was conquered by the powerful and indomitable armies of Rome. For 500 years, right through the early era of Christianity, Athens was subject to the power of Rome. For most practical purposes the history of classical Greece ends at this point. Tourists come to Athens and Greece mainly to see the remains of the classical ruins, and to relive the days of glory of Pericles and the Athenians. That's what Greece is all about. Obviously, though, its history continues. For many hundreds of years, Byzantinum was the only civilized part of Europe. Art, especially religious art, flourished, and churches, monasteries and palaces were going up everywhere including the Athens area. Then the Eastern and Western churches separated; Venetians, Franks and soldiers from other countries in Western Europe formed their crusades and Greece was reduced to an insignificant province, and Athens became a small town. The Parthenon was turned into a Turkish mosque. For the next 400 years, Greece remained under Turkish rule. In the early 1800s, the Greeks started to muster groups of revolutionaries, and in March 1821, they formally began their struggle for independence marked on March 25 as Greek Independence Day. In 1829 Greece was declared an independent nation. A number of modern-day conflicts (Balkan and world wars) left Greece at times in other hands, but today the country is a republic with a democratically elected parliament. Regimes may come and go, but the glory that was Greece and Athens remains. Acropolis now! The Parthenon was the first temple to be built. It was dedicated to the Virgin goddess Athena. Iktinos was its architect while Pheidias and his pupils had charge of general constructional supervision and the decorative carvings. It was the first time that a peripteral temple in the Doric style was decorated all round with a sculptured frieze (160 meters long) illustrating the Panathenaean Procession. The 92 metopes were also sculptured with reliefs representing a battle with giants, a battle with Amazons, battles with centaurs and scenes from the Trojan War. The gold and ivory statue of the goddess Athena, the work of Pheidias, was erected in the interior. When construction of the temple had been completed, the pedimental sculptures were added. The birth of Athena, from the head of Zeus, was depicted on the eastern pediment, the quarrel between Poseidon and Athena for possession of Attica was shown on the western pediment. COVENTRY This industrial city lies close to the centre of the country (Meriden) and a little too close to the country's unofficial anus (Birmingham). Described in official blurb as "busy and multicultural". You can say that again, ever tried getting home between 4-6pm on a weekday on a ringroad that defies the laws of physics? Take my advice, walk - you'll get there quicker. The city was once a car manufacturing nirvana, with the likes of Triumph, Jaguar and Alvis rolling out much sought after vehicles. Today the car industry is somewhat "downsized", although Jaguar still inhabit Browns Lane and Peugeot are located just outside the city at Ryton.   Football ("Sit on the Villa!") One of Coventry's most famous assets is it's football club. Their home at present is Highfield Road. A new zillion pound stadium is planned on the old Foleshill Gas Works site, complete with retractable roof and a mobile pitch that enables the goal posts to be moved in line with any striker's shot. The team will be able to play home games both inside the Stadium and in the car park. Coventry have an undisputed record as being one of the greatest teams to have ever played in the bottom half of the premiership. They have avoided relegation on the last day of the season on no less than ten separate occasions in the last 30 years. However, 2001 will be remembered as "The Season Of Misinterpreted Football". They were unjustly relegated by their nemesis: "The Villa", the official "anus" of the premiership, they will now be forced to battle the uncivilised barbarians that reside in the first division. The 2000/2001 season was epitomised by the single event where a streaker at a home game was greeted with chants of "sign him up, sign him up." The season was also hampered by injury, of most importance to the team performance was the slight calf strain that vocal supporter and season ticket holder; Mr Hinginbottom's received by standing up too quickly when he mistook an opponents goal for one of City's. A Concise History of Coventry City FC: 1967 Cov get promoted to Division one 1968-86 Not a lot 1987 Cov win the FA cup 1988-2000 Not a lot 2001 Cov get relegated from the Premiership   War During WWI, many Coventrians were butchered in inhuman conditions usually reserved for sewer rats in trench warfare in France. Still today, those who were shot for desertion by half-witted, inbred, incompetent officers are not regarded as part of the "glorious dead." And we all thought we were only fighting fascism during WWII. Coventrians famously enjoy a good ruck, so much so that during WWII they single handedly took on the might of the Luftwaffe. The results were catastrophic. On the night of 14th - 15th November 1940, during a German air raid, some 449 German bombers destroyed the city centre. The targets were mainly munitions factories, such as Alvis, but the buggers only went and levelled the Cathedral didn't they. House of God an' all. No respect. Conspiracy! Cried some, pointing towards the British military trying to protect their knowledge about the ENIGMA decoding machine by ignoring warnings they had of the raid. Was Cov sacrificed for the greater good? And if so, why the f**k didn't the government have the decency to rebuild the city in a more sympathetic manner.   Architecture Coventry's city centre was re-built during the 50's. Hiring some of the worlds youngest architects, an attempt was made on the record for the most concrete used in the regeneration of a city. Breeze blocks were the new wattle and daub. The city looked magnificent through the summer of 1957. Then time, being a "great healer", went and turned the fabulous grey concrete into a subtle off-grey tinged with brown. The city has struggled to achieve listed building status for several of its unique breeze block buildings. Visitors to the city are recommended to see "The Woodlands School". It is such a prime example of 50's-60's architecture, that when the listed science block was destroyed by a fire in the 1980's, students were made to study in cramped dank mobile boxes while the breeze blocks and green aluminium window frames were manufactured by the original work force.   Education Coventry University is fast taking over vast areas of the city centre and has become the single largest employer in the city. At the university children are taught things, hurrah for learning and further education!   Night Life Life goes on at night too in Coventry. If carrying the world on your shoulders and shit clothes are your choice then The Dog and Trumpet is the place for you. For those who are suffering from very bad colds, huge Tunes are available at Icons, located somewhere in the fantastic Sky Dome. Visitors are also recommended to visit the building that once housed The Pink Parrot. A legendary nightclub in the 1980's that started the trend of wearing ties on a night out. It's existance was short lived, but its atmosphere has been imitated in many clubs throughout England that operate "door policies" and advocate the sharing of bodily fluids.   Lady Godiva (Posh Exhibitionist/Millionaire Stripper) Lady Godiva is the second most famous woman to be born in Coventry. She got miffed at her husband, the bad Major Godiva, for raising taxes by stealth. He put VAT on domestic fuel, added one groat to pensioner's incomes, put a tax escalator on hay (horse fuel, similar to petrol these days), wittered on about what it all meant "in real terms for the man on the street". The poor got poorer, the rich didn't care. What was a Lady of nobility to do in such a situation, but ride through the streets of Coventry naked on horseback?. When hearing that she was to ride through the city naked, her evil husband forbid anyone to take a look at her, sentencing those who did to 20,000 hours of community service. However, the spirit of the Coventrian was epitomised by a man named Tom, who during the Lady's passage through the city got a good eyeful and fired a quick one off the wrist. He subsequently went blind. This scene is immortalised in the town clock which can be viewed from the Broadgate area of the City Centre. Also in broadgate is a 15 foot high statue of a naked woman straddling a horse. The statue has become the cultural icon of the city. No visitor to the city can leave without joining the friendly, well-oiled locals at 2.15a.m. on a Sunday morning for the ritual "Mounting of Godiva's Horse". In this weekly ritual the youth of today attempt to climb onto the horse whilst chanting "I'm gonna sh*g this sl*g". A successful mounting of the horse is said to bring a lifetime of good luck and a £100 fine from the Police. Unsuccessfulness may result in the loss of several teeth or a broken collar bone. A few years ago some old busybody wrote in to the local newspaper; The Coventry Evening Telegraph, complaining that you could see the horses wedding tackle, which was supposedly offensive. I wrote in complaining that you couldn't see Lady Godiva's wedding tackle. Oddly my letter never saw the light of day. Must have been an error by the editor. Ye Olde Cov Many moons ago in a time when ordinary people were denied basic human rights such as proper sanitation, free health care and television, they were a seedy little bunch. OK, so we've already heard about that dirty old perv Peeping Tom, but what about the man who was hung for sodomising animals? And you thought the people of Grimsby were peculiar for hanging a monkey (there is a theory that it may actually have been a scouser on holiday). Cov's history dates back to Roman times, when the towns mayor was an elephant. He ruled with an iron trunk. Outdoors Yes, there's countryside near Coventry too. Surrounded by Green Belt (despite the odd Coundon Wedge road being built) there's plenty of green places. You could visit Coombe Abbey to have a wander round someone's house, or try your luck for one of the huge Zander which inhabit the lake. There's many fisheries in the area. Watersports are particularly popular in the Coventry area. Stuff goes on at the Royal Agricultural Centre. Have a look at the Lunt Fort at Baginton for a glimpse of what Romans got up to. Then there's the motor museum, Belgrade Theatre/Swimming Fountain, sports centre (in the shape of an elephant!!!!), war memorial park, and lots more!!! Weather Rains in winter. Hot in summer.   Famous Coventrians Mo Mowlam (ex-politician. Most famous daughter of Coventry) Lady Godiva (Legendary posh stripper) Peeping Tom (Manky old spunker. Went blind having a swift one off the wrist while peeping at Lady G) Frank Whittle (jet engine inventor & brain box) Paul King (former front man of global pop outfit King) The Specials (Kings of Ska) Danny Grewcock ("Massive" England rugby hero) Neil Back (England rugby hero) Robert Ganley (journalist with Practical Caravan) The Coventry ZULU "The Zulu" was a fibreglass 40 foot high statue of an African Zulu warrior manufactured in Scunthorpe. For obvious reasons the Zulu was commissioned by the Council to be a guard at the entrance of the now extinct Coventry Zoo in the 1970's. The history of the Coventry Zulu has been extensively researched by the team at theolympicflame, but it's current whereabouts is unknown. Visitors to the Zoo were required to walk beneath the statue to gain entrance to see the native Coventry wildlife. Unfortunately the Zulu was dressed only in a grass skirt, and so caused quite a stir. After the closure of the Zoo, the Zulu was relocated to guard the valuable refuse in the Coventry tip. However, it is reported by the council that due to the toxic nature of the materials from which it was manufactured, it had to be removed from the skip. It's has been rumoured that it is being held for ransom by the Birmingham library, but this is unconfirmed. Theolympicflame team are willing to pay a substantial reward for information leading to the discovery of the Coventry Zulu This is part of an ongoing campaign to have the city of Coventry reinstate the Zulu as its gaurdian.   A Famous Persons Quote about Coventry Upon visiting the city of Coventry during WW2, General Eisenower entered the city along the beautiful Kenilworth Road. Upon leaving the city he commented the road as being "A million dollar entrance to a two bit city". The Fat Yankee Tw*t.